Coach Lee

Psychological Tips To Get Your Ex Back

Coach Lee shares psychological tips and "tricks" that you can use to get your ex back after a breakup. After a breakup, so much of what people often do actually pushes their ex away. Tips that well-intentioned loved ones suggest to us to get an ex back or re-attract them most often do the very opposite.

 

Relationship expert Coach Lee shares psychological principles that can help you re-attract your ex after they broke up with you.

 

Get information on Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

 

Watch on YouTube at Psychological Tips To Get Your Ex Back 

 

See accompanying article at Psychological Tips To Get Your Ex Back

 

SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel at: Relationship Coach, Coach Lee on YouTube 

 

Summary: Utilizing Psychology to Rekindle Romance

In the quest to rekindle a lost romance, understanding and applying psychological principles can significantly enhance the chances of getting your ex back. Here is a concise summary of key strategies and insights:

1. Recognize Natural Reactions: Post-breakup, it's natural to feel self-focused due to the pain of separation. Recognizing this helps in strategizing your actions to be more effective and less driven by immediate emotional responses.

2. Make it Their Idea: For reconciliation to be lasting and meaningful, your ex must feel the reunion is their idea. This realization often comes when they reflect on the relationship's value and their own decision to end it, leading to a deeper appreciation and commitment when they decide to return.

3. Allow Them to Experience Consequences: It's crucial for your ex to feel the full impact of the breakup. Shielding them from the pain or trying to alleviate their guilt can prevent them from understanding the significance of their loss, hindering their journey back to you.

4. Implement No Contact Strategically: No contact isn't about playing hard to get but creating a space for healing and reflection. This absence can ignite your ex's curiosity and longing, leading them to reconsider the breakup.

5. Maintain an Island of Independence: Your ex needs to feel they are making decisions free from manipulation. Any perceived attempts at swaying their decision can backfire. They need to independently arrive at the desire to reunite.

6. Outwardly Accept the Breakup: While you may inwardly hope for reconciliation, accepting the breakup outwardly is crucial. This unexpected response can make your ex re-evaluate their decision, especially as they observe you moving forward positively.

7. Focus on Self-Improvement: Engaging in self-improvement makes you more attractive and can reignite your ex's interest. Personal growth, confidence, and an enriched life are inherently attractive qualities.

8. Exude Independence: Show that your life is fulfilling without your ex. This independence and engagement with life can make you more desirable and may lead your ex to reconsider the value you add to their life.

By understanding and applying these psychological principles, you can increase your chances of rekindling romance. It's about a balanced approach that combines respect for their decision, personal growth, and strategic absence, leading to a potentially stronger and more committed relationship upon reconciliation. Whether the outcome is getting back together or finding personal strength, these strategies pave the way for a positive path forward.

Is The 30 Day No Contact Rule Enough To Get An Ex Back?

Coach Lee discusses the 30 Day No Contact Rule and answers whether it is enough and effective or not at getting an ex back after a breakup. A lot of people think that the “No Contact Rule” and the “30 Day No Contact Rule” are the same thing, but are they? And is 30 days of no contact enough to get an ex back?

 

If you are planning to use the No Contact Rule for 30 days and then to contact your ex to try to get them back, watch Coach Lee's video carefully discussing it's success rate and if 30 days is enough time to allow for the needed changes in your exes heart and mind.

 

Coach Lee is a relationship coach with over two decades of experience in helping people get their ex back after a breakup and a spouse back after a separation. He is a proponent of the No Contact Rule.

Get Info on Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel at: http://youtube.com/@realcoachlee

 

VIDEOS Mentioned In This One: No Contact and the Power of Time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdxYpwtF8VA

Does The No Contact Rule Work On A Stubborn Ex? 

Watch on YouTube at Is 30 Days of No Contact Enough To Get An Ex Back? 

Accompanying article at: Is 30 Days of No Contact Enough To Re-Attract An Ex?

Limerence

What is limerence? In this podcast, relationship strategist Coach Lee, discusses the mental state of limerence and what you can do if your spouse or ex boyfriend/girlfriend is having a limerence affair with someone.

Coach Lee compares limerence vs love and discusses what you can do if they are infatuated with this other person (known as the limerent object).

If your marriage is in trouble and you are separated due to your spouse having a limerence affair, this video will explain what is going on and why it seems you can't compete with this other person. So what is Limerence? It is a state of mind where people often leave marriages or long term, stable relationships to, instead, be with someone they haven't known for a long time at all but have amazing, sky-high feelings for. Dr. Tennov studied people in this infatuation and coined the term/word “limerence.”

Coach Lee will also discuss how you may fight for the heart of the one you love if they are in Limerence. When a spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend is experiencing limerence, they are under the influence of the chemicals associated with that mental state. Those brain chemicals are mainly dopamine and serotonin.

The ex lover or spouse in limerence is addicted to those chemical highs and is always chasing the greatest high experienced from the relationship. What they don't realize is that they can never duplicate that high again - though they might come close. Over time the highs get lower and lower until the person feels they have “fallen out of love.” They will then be vulnerable to chasing that high through the host of another person.

For more information, watch Coach Lee's video on Limerence and see his post at What is Limerence?

On Medium at: What Is Limerence in Relationships?

Understanding Limerence: The Intense World of Romantic Obsession

What is Limerence?

Limerence, a term coined by Dr. Dorothy Tennov many years ago, describes an intense, often overwhelming romantic desire. It's a state of mind characterized by an all-consuming passion and longing for another person, typically someone with whom the individual has not had a long-standing relationship. Those in the throes of limerence might find themselves leaving behind stable, long-term relationships for a whirlwind romance filled with sky-high emotions and a sense of urgency.

The Characteristics of Limerence:

Limerence is more than just a crush or infatuation; it is an addictive state. Individuals in limerence experience a powerful attraction to another person, often believing they have never felt this way before. This condition is marked by a series of intense emotions and a significant chemical reaction in the brain. Key characteristics include:

1. Intense Emotional Attachment: Individuals feel an overwhelming emotional attachment to the person of their desire, often believing this person is the only one who can fulfill them.
2. Idealization: The object of limerence, or the "limerent object," is often placed on a pedestal, idealized to an unrealistic degree.
3. Intrusive Thoughts: Those experiencing limerence find themselves constantly thinking about the other person, to the extent that it may interfere with their daily life.
4. Emotional Dependence: Their mood and overall well-being seem entirely dependent on their interactions with the limerent object.
5. Fear of Rejection: Despite the intense desire, there's also an acute fear of rejection from the limerent object, leading to a range of behaviors from shyness to extreme efforts to please.

The Chemical High of Limerence:

At its core, limerence is driven by a cocktail of chemicals in the brain. Dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter, spikes, leading to feelings of pleasure and reward. Meanwhile, changes in serotonin levels can disrupt rational thinking and decision-making, explaining why those in limerence often make seemingly irrational choices, like leaving a stable partner for a new, uncertain relationship. This chemical high can lead individuals to act out of character, prioritizing the pursuit of this new romantic interest above all else.

The Role of Limerence in Relationships:

While often disruptive and painful, especially when it leads to the end of long-term relationships, limerence does have a role in human romantic interaction. In the early stages of a relationship, limerence can serve to bring people together, creating a strong bond that motivates them to pursue a deeper connection. The intense desire to know everything about the other person and share everything about oneself can lay the groundwork for a future relationship. However, for limerence to transition into a stable, long-term partnership, it must evolve into deeper forms of love and attachment.

Limerence vs. Rebound Relationships:

Limerence is often at the core of what many refer to as rebound relationships. After a breakup, individuals might quickly find themselves intensely attracted to someone new. These relationships are typically labeled "rebounds" due to their sudden onset and the common belief that they are merely a way to fill the void left by the previous relationship. While not all rebound relationships are driven by limerence, many exhibit similar patterns of idealization and intense emotional investment.

Dealing with Limerence:

If you find yourself or someone close to you caught in the grip of limerence, understanding that it is a temporary and often illogical state can be comforting. Recognizing the signs and acknowledging the chemical aspect of the attraction can help in managing the feelings and making more rational decisions. For those who are on the receiving end of someone's limerent affection, it's important to set clear boundaries and not exploit the situation, as the emotional stakes are incredibly high.

When Limerence Fades:

Limerence is not a permanent state. Over time, the intense feelings begin to fade, and individuals may start to see their limerent object more realistically. This transition period can be challenging, as the emotional withdrawal can feel similar to overcoming an addiction. The end of limerence is often marked by statements like "the spark is gone" or "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." It's crucial for individuals to navigate this phase carefully, ideally transitioning into a more mature, stable form of love.

Conclusion:

Limerence is a powerful and often bewildering experience, marked by intense emotional highs, irrational behaviors, and significant changes in brain chemistry. While it plays a role in drawing people together and can lead to meaningful relationships, it's important to recognize its temporary nature and potential for disruption. Understanding limerence, its symptoms, and its impact on relationships can help individuals navigate their romantic lives more wisely, making decisions that lead to healthier, more sustainable partnerships. Whether you're experiencing limerence, know someone who is, or are simply fascinated by this aspect of human emotion, appreciating the complexity of these feelings is a step toward more profound emotional intelligence and relationship satisfaction.

How To Survive No Contact

Getting through no contact is difficult. That's the understatement of a lifetime! Not communicating with the one you love seems difficult to survive, even if you plan to reach out at some point. It's a challenge that you are up for and Coach Lee gives you some encouragement and tips to survive the no contact rule!

If you are wondering what to do during a no contact period with your ex, this video explains what you can do to survive, get through, and to keep your sanity. If you are looking for help during no contact, Coach Lee explains what you can do when you start to worry, wonder, and wince. He guides you through the problem of thinking about your ex constantly during no contact.

By thinking about them all of the time, you make the process much more difficult for yourself and Coach Lee explains how you can improve in that area to give yourself some peace. In fact, Coach Lee uses a coffee cup to explain to you how you can get through those tough days of no contact.

The key is in knowing when to take breaks and how to keep yourself out of the pits that come with the anxiety and depression you can feel after a breakup. Use this video and lean on Coach Lee to stick out no contact in order to have the best chance at getting your ex back and to become a stronger person.

SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel so that you can be notified when he has new content on attraction, relationship dynamics, and breakups.

Read the accompanying article at: How To Survive No Contact

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit At https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/ 

The Importance of Your Ex Being Ready To Come Back

As relationship expert, Coach Lee, explains in this video, it is very important that your ex be ready before you reach out to them.

If you are asking when your ex will be ready, Coach Lee explains the processes and stages that your ex must go through before they are receptive to communicating with you and to considering getting back together.

That is why it is so important that you do not reach out before your ex is ready or else you could sabotage your efforts to get back together with them. As Coach Lee explains, there is a reason that your ex won't listen to logic and reason when they are in the process of breaking up with you.

There is a reason that they are so cold sometimes and decisive. Usually your ex has been planning for and deciding to break up with you for a while. Sometimes it's weeks, months, or even years. So they have already thought it through and know what they think they want at the moment.

As Coach Lee points out, you can't talk them out of it when they are in the process of breaking up with you or shortly after. You actually can't "talk" them out of it regardless but they are far less receptive to changing their minds shortly after the breakup. That is why it is so important for them to be ready and receptive. Coach Lee points out how you can know and more on why this is so important.

See the accompanying post to this podcast: Signs My Ex Is Ready To Reunite

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel and click the notification bell so that you can be notified when he has new content on breakups, attraction, relationship dynamics, and getting your ex back.

Is There Hope To Get Your Ex Back?

Is there hope to get your ex back? Can you get your ex back? That is what relationship expert, Coach Lee, discusses in this important message.

In this encouraging podcast Lee discusses why, despite your feelings of hopelessness, there is hope of getting your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back after a breakup. It's important to remember that getting an ex back doesn't usually happen over night, usually because it took time for your ex to come to the conclusion that they wanted to break up with you, it takes time for your ex to actually trust themselves that they want you back and aren't just going to want to break up again. In this way, they often are considering your feelings in the matter and don't want to hurt you again.

That's why it is important that you don't make the breakup awkward, difficult, or dramatic. If you respect your ex's decision and let them go, they will be able to reach out to you if they miss you even a small amount because they don't worry that you will make things difficult if they decide they want to breakup again. In this way, you remove a hurdle to your ex getting back with you. This gives you even more reason to have hope that your ex will come back to you.

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel on YouTube at: Marriage, Relationship, and Breakup Coaching and click the notification bell so that you can be notified when he has more content on attraction, breakups, and relationship dynamics.

When Does No Contact Start Working?

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit At https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

When does no contact start working? When will no contact start to work on your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend? If those are your questions, Coach Lee speaks in detail about this topic in this powerful podcast.

SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee’s channel by clicking this link: http://youtube.com/c/myexbackcoach?sub_confirmation=1

In other content, relationship expert Coach Lee speaks about stages that your ex will go through after a breakup when you have implemented the no contact rule. In this video he talks about when the no contact rule starts working and has the most influence on your ex.

As Lee has discussed in other podcasts and videos and on his website, the no contact rule is an effective way of getting your ex to miss you and, very often, to want to get back together with you. It is important that you stay strong and believe in the process even though it is difficult.

No contact will bring results with your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend when they lose the ability to expect you to reach out and when they begin experiencing feelings of loss. At the breakup, the person who was broken up with feels the most loss while the person who did the dumping doesn't feel as much, if any.

When you use the no contact rule, you turn the tables on your ex so that they feel you slipping away from them. Ideally, no contact will have them fearing that they could lose you forever to someone else or because you get over them.

If you stay in contact with them, they will see you as always being there, waiting around on them, and a permanent option if they ever want you back. The No Contact Rule changes that to where your ex sees that you have the strength to stay away from them and to move on with your life.

This is how you can introduce the fear of loss into the breakup for your ex. Doing so significantly increases the odds of your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend coming back to you.

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit At https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

Watch on YouTube at When Does No Contact Start Working? 

Getting Mixed Signals From Your Ex?

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

If you were dumped but are now getting mixed signals from your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend and want to know what they mean and what to do about it, this video by Coach Lee is for you. Be sure to listen all the way to the end! It's very important that you listen all the way to the end to get a full understanding of why your ex is giving you mixed signals and what you should do about it to fully get them back.

If your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend is giving you mixed signals, you probably feel that you are in limbo land. You aren't back with your ex all the way yet, but they seem to be interested in getting back together one day and not the next. They text or call you a few days in a row and then you don't hear from them. They tell you they miss you or maybe even say that they love you but then they disappear and tell you that they are confused or want to take a step back.

Coach Lee explains what you should do and how you should respond to these mixed signals if you want your ex back and want to end the mixed signals. An accompanying article to this video may be found at: Mixed signals from ex

VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO "Get Your Ex Back From A Rebound Relationship": Video at Get Your Ex Back From A Rebound Relationship

Is Your Ex A Narcissist? Is My Ex A Narcissist?

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

SUBSCRIBE To Coach Lee's Channel and click the notification bell so that you can be notified when he has more videos on attraction, breakups, relationship dynamics, and being your best self in relationships!

Psychology of the No Contact Rule On The One Who Broke Up With You

Coach Lee explains the psychology of the no contact rule on a dumper (your ex) after a breakup. You'll learn how the no contact rule affects your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend after he/she broke up with you (or dumped you if you prefer).

This is an important video if you are wanting to know how the no contact rule psychologically affects your ex and if it can help the two of you reunite.

Get Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/0

Videos mentioned in this one: Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYEAWNvtaTk

See the Accompanying article at: Psychology of the No Contact Rule On the Dumper

What Is Your Ex Feeling During No Contact? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM-gi4ESjZs&t=15s

Help For Anxiety After Breakup: Help for Breakup Anxiety

The Law of Attraction To Get Your Ex Back: Law of Attraction to Get Your Ex Back

Teach Your Ex This After Breakup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzz-9cONCeU

Get Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

See the accompanying post to this video at https://myexbackcoach.com/psychology-of-the-no-contact-rule/ 

Is It Too Late To Use The No Contact Rule To Get An Ex Back?

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

If you have begged, pleaded with, and chased your ex after they broke up with you and you are wondering if it is too late to do no contact, Coach Lee explains if and when it is too late to use the no contact rule to re-attract your ex.

As Coach Lee explains, it is never too late to do the right thing. People often ask, "Will no contact work after begging?"

According to Coach Lee, though begging taxes your chances of getting your ex back, you still have a good chance of winning them back if you stop the begging, pestering and pressuring them and implement no contact. When you stop the bad actions and start the good habit of giving him or her the space, you are interrupting the pattern (pattern interruption) and this is often successful to get your ex into the relief stage and moving toward the all-important curiosity stage. The fear-of-loss stage would be next if you stay in no contact. So if you have begged, pleaded, and otherwise messed up, you can still successfully apply the no contact rule and it can still work. Get

Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

Watch the video version of this podcast at Is It Too Late To Do The No Contact Rule To Get An Ex Back? 

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