Coach Lee

The Mind of Your Ex When You Pursue

Coach Lee explains what happens in your ex's mind when you pursue them after they broke up with you. Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

Read the accompanying article at: Your Ex's Mind When You Pursue Them

VIDEOS Recommended After This One:

Clues Your Ex Is Bluffing About The Breakup

Is All Hope Lost To Get Your Ex Back?

Insightful Reflections on Post-Breakup Dynamics

Understanding Emotional Space

When an individual continuously seeks out an ex-partner post-separation, it inadvertently creates a sensation of constraint and a longing for liberation in the ex-partner. This unyielding presence often leads the ex-partner to idealize a future devoid of such encumbrances, further distancing them from any thoughts of reunion. Stepping back allows them to experience and perhaps miss the unique aspects of the relationship, potentially leading to a reconsideration of the breakup.

Importance of Absence in Realization

Relentless pursuit post-breakup can hinder an ex's journey towards understanding the real implications of their decision. Without the opportunity to miss and reflect upon the relationship's value, they remain in a state of ignorance about what life truly feels like without their former partner. Allowing them this space can lead to a heightened appreciation of past connections and possibly a desire to rekindle the relationship.

Perceived Value and Scarcity

Constant availability significantly diminishes one's perceived value in the eyes of an ex. By always being there, the individual essentially lowers their worth and desirability. Conversely, absence can increase perceived value, making the person seem like a rarer and thus more desirable presence in their ex's life.

Simplifying the Path to Reconciliation

When one pursues an ex relentlessly, it inadvertently creates additional emotional and psychological barriers to potential reconciliation. Each attempt at contact is a reminder of the past and adds to the apprehension of re-entering the relationship. By removing these barriers through absence, one simplifies the journey back to potentially mending the relationship, making it a more attractive proposition based on positive feelings rather than guilt or pressure.

Promoting Mutual Growth and Respect

By taking a step back, individuals avoid falling into the trap of being seen as responsible for fixing all aspects of the relationship, including those broken by the ex. This dynamic is detrimental and prevents both parties from learning and growing from the experience. Allowing ex-partners to fully confront the consequences of their actions fosters a deeper understanding and appreciation of the relationship, potentially leading to a more mature and sincere attempt at reconciliation if they truly regret their decision.

These reflections emphasize the significance of emotional space and personal growth post-breakup, advocating for a more detached approach to potentially mend a lost connection. The key lies in understanding these emotional dynamics and adapting one's actions to foster a healthy and respectful path to reconciliation or personal growth.

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

Do Feelings Fade During No Contact After A Breakup?

Do feelings fade during no contact since the two of you aren't having any interaction? Coach Lee explains how no contact does and does not impact the feelings of your ex after they broke up with you. When you are not contacting your ex it can and does impact their feelings but not in the way that most people assume that it does. Feelings can fade during no contact but it's not because of the no contact rule. Coach Lee explains what no contact does to your ex's feelings and while you are not contacting him or her.

Read the accompanying article at: Do feelings fade during no contact?

Watch the video version of this podcast at Will no contact cause feelings to fade 

Video mentioned in this one:  Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact Rule

In exploring the impact of the no contact rule post-breakup, it's clear that while feelings may have already diminished prompting the breakup, no contact doesn't necessarily cause further emotional fading. Instead, it can create a space for introspection and potentially increase attraction by allowing both parties to feel the absence of the other.

This period is characterized by an initial sense of freedom and relief for the initiator, followed by stages of doubt and reconsideration as they experience life without their partner.

The no contact rule challenges the control and complacency felt during the breakup, introducing the possibility of permanent loss and prompting a reevaluation of the relationship.

Throughout this period, individuals are encouraged to focus on self-growth and healing, understanding that while no contact can lead to reconciliation in some cases, it is also a valuable time for personal development and clarity, regardless of the outcome.

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If Someone Broke Your Heart, Listen To This!

Coach Lee provides encouragement and hope that you can survive heartbreak and thrive on the other side of it. He provides powerful steps to overcoming a broken heart. Get his Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/ and the Emergency Marriage Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-marriage-kit/

On YouTube at: For The Heartbroken

Read the accompanying article: What You Can Do About A Broken Heart?

In navigating heartbreak and considering the rekindling of a lost relationship, Coach Lee advises a journey of introspection and strength-building. Firstly, it's crucial to evaluate whether you truly desire someone who has decided to part ways with you. This reflection involves acknowledging a change in the person you loved and setting personal standards to ensure you're valued in the way you deserve.

You should also draw strength from past experiences, understanding that as with previous heartbreaks, this too shall pass. Embrace the healing power of your support network and learn to live in the present, focusing on day-to-day recovery rather than dwelling on what the future may hold.

If considering reconciliation, patience and strategic emotional distancing, like the no-contact rule, can sometimes reignite recognition of each other's worth. However, it's paramount to focus on personal growth, ensuring that your journey to recovery prioritizes self-improvement and happiness, irrespective of whether reunion with your ex is the end result. With a focus on personal strength and self-respect, navigating the aftermath of a breakup can lead to significant personal development and readiness for whatever the future holds.

Is All Hope Lost To Get Your Ex Back?

Is all hope lost to get your ex back? Coach Lee answers this question in this podcast and in the video above.

Read the accompanying article at: Is All Hope Lost To Get Your Ex Back?

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

Rekindling Hope in Winning Your Ex Back
In the aftermath of a breakup, it's natural to feel like all hope is lost. However, understanding the dynamics of breakups can offer a glimmer of hope in rekindling a lost relationship. Here are the key takeaways from Coach Lee's advice on winning your ex back:

Understanding Immediate Aftermath: The hurtful things said during a breakup often stem from immediate emotions rather than a final decision. These words reflect a temporary emotional state, not a permanent end.

The Conceptual Breakup: Initially, your ex might believe the breakup is what they want without experiencing the reality of your absence. They need to confront the actual loss to understand the value of the relationship truly.

The Role of No Contact: Implementing a no-contact period is vital. It allows your ex to experience the consequences of their decision, making them miss the intimacy and connection shared with you.

Learning from Loss: Often, it's the loss that teaches the value of what one had. Your ex might realize the importance of the relationship and reconsider their decision upon feeling the void left by your absence.

Handling Reconnection: If your ex reaches out, respond with dignity and self-respect. Show growth and stability, and don't rush back into the relationship. This approach ensures any reconciliation is thoughtful and mutually beneficial.

In summary, while the journey to winning your ex back is challenging and filled with emotional hurdles, understanding these psychological aspects can increase your chances of a successful reunion. Remember, it's about personal growth, patience, and maintaining a sense of self-worth throughout the process. Whether you reconcile or move forward independently, the journey is a valuable learning experience.

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

How To Use Psychology To Re-Attract Your Ex

Coach Lee explains how you can use psychology to re-attract your ex after they broke up with you.

Get more information on his Emergency Breakup Kit at http://MyExBackCoach.com

Read the accompanying post at: How To Use Psychology To Re-Attract Your Ex

 

5 Things You MUST Do To Get Your Ex Back

Coach Lee reveals what you must do to get your ex back after a breakup. If you want to reunite with your ex after he or she broke up with you, there are things that people often do that can push an ex away and ruin your chances of getting back together with them or re-attracting him or her.

In this podcast you'll learn what you need to do to cause your ex to have a change of heart and want to reunite with you. Get information on Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

Read the accompanying article at: 5 Things You Must Do To Get Your Ex Back

On Life Coach Hub at: Things You Must Do To Get Your Ex Back

SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's YouTube channel at: Relationship Coach on YouTube

Summary: Key Strategies to Win Your Ex Back

In navigating the challenging path to win back an ex, certain psychological strategies can significantly increase your chances of rekindling the romance. Here are the condensed insights from the five essential steps:

1. Resist the Urge to Fix Immediately: Instead of rushing to repair the relationship, allow your ex to experience the consequences of their decision. Give them space to miss what was lost and to doubt their choice.

2. Implement the No Contact Rule: Cease communication to let your ex feel the true weight of life without you. This absence can foster reflection and appreciation for the relationship, potentially leading them to reconsider the breakup.

3. Demand Fair Treatment: Ensure that you are respected in practical matters post-breakup. Stand firm in divisions of property or financial obligations, reflecting your self-respect and the seriousness of the breakup.

4. Change Your Treatment Towards Your Ex: Reflect the new reality in your interactions with your ex. They should no longer receive the same level of care or affection as when they were your partner, helping them realize what they've lost.

5. Trust in the Value of Your Relationship: Believe in the strength and depth of what you shared. If the relationship was meaningful, trust that these qualities will become apparent to your ex during their time of reflection.

In summary, winning your ex back is about strategic patience, respect for oneself and the former relationship, and allowing natural emotional processes to influence your ex's decision.

 

These steps are not about manipulation but about fostering an environment where your ex can independently realize the value of the relationship they left behind. Whether the outcome is reconciliation or personal growth, approaching the situation with dignity and a clear strategy is paramount.

 

Psychological Tips To Get Your Ex Back

Coach Lee shares psychological tips and "tricks" that you can use to get your ex back after a breakup. After a breakup, so much of what people often do actually pushes their ex away. Tips that well-intentioned loved ones suggest to us to get an ex back or re-attract them most often do the very opposite.

 

Relationship expert Coach Lee shares psychological principles that can help you re-attract your ex after they broke up with you.

 

Get information on Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

 

Watch on YouTube at Psychological Tips To Get Your Ex Back 

 

See accompanying article at Psychological Tips To Get Your Ex Back

 

SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel at: Relationship Coach, Coach Lee on YouTube 

 

Summary: Utilizing Psychology to Rekindle Romance

In the quest to rekindle a lost romance, understanding and applying psychological principles can significantly enhance the chances of getting your ex back. Here is a concise summary of key strategies and insights:

1. Recognize Natural Reactions: Post-breakup, it's natural to feel self-focused due to the pain of separation. Recognizing this helps in strategizing your actions to be more effective and less driven by immediate emotional responses.

2. Make it Their Idea: For reconciliation to be lasting and meaningful, your ex must feel the reunion is their idea. This realization often comes when they reflect on the relationship's value and their own decision to end it, leading to a deeper appreciation and commitment when they decide to return.

3. Allow Them to Experience Consequences: It's crucial for your ex to feel the full impact of the breakup. Shielding them from the pain or trying to alleviate their guilt can prevent them from understanding the significance of their loss, hindering their journey back to you.

4. Implement No Contact Strategically: No contact isn't about playing hard to get but creating a space for healing and reflection. This absence can ignite your ex's curiosity and longing, leading them to reconsider the breakup.

5. Maintain an Island of Independence: Your ex needs to feel they are making decisions free from manipulation. Any perceived attempts at swaying their decision can backfire. They need to independently arrive at the desire to reunite.

6. Outwardly Accept the Breakup: While you may inwardly hope for reconciliation, accepting the breakup outwardly is crucial. This unexpected response can make your ex re-evaluate their decision, especially as they observe you moving forward positively.

7. Focus on Self-Improvement: Engaging in self-improvement makes you more attractive and can reignite your ex's interest. Personal growth, confidence, and an enriched life are inherently attractive qualities.

8. Exude Independence: Show that your life is fulfilling without your ex. This independence and engagement with life can make you more desirable and may lead your ex to reconsider the value you add to their life.

By understanding and applying these psychological principles, you can increase your chances of rekindling romance. It's about a balanced approach that combines respect for their decision, personal growth, and strategic absence, leading to a potentially stronger and more committed relationship upon reconciliation. Whether the outcome is getting back together or finding personal strength, these strategies pave the way for a positive path forward.

Is The 30 Day No Contact Rule Enough To Get An Ex Back?

Coach Lee discusses the 30 Day No Contact Rule and answers whether it is enough and effective or not at getting an ex back after a breakup. A lot of people think that the “No Contact Rule” and the “30 Day No Contact Rule” are the same thing, but are they? And is 30 days of no contact enough to get an ex back?

 

If you are planning to use the No Contact Rule for 30 days and then to contact your ex to try to get them back, watch Coach Lee's video carefully discussing it's success rate and if 30 days is enough time to allow for the needed changes in your exes heart and mind.

 

Coach Lee is a relationship coach with over two decades of experience in helping people get their ex back after a breakup and a spouse back after a separation. He is a proponent of the No Contact Rule.

Get Info on Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel at: http://youtube.com/@realcoachlee

 

VIDEOS Mentioned In This One: No Contact and the Power of Time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdxYpwtF8VA

Does The No Contact Rule Work On A Stubborn Ex? 

Watch on YouTube at Is 30 Days of No Contact Enough To Get An Ex Back? 

Accompanying article at: Is 30 Days of No Contact Enough To Re-Attract An Ex?

Limerence

What is limerence? In this podcast, relationship strategist Coach Lee, discusses the mental state of limerence and what you can do if your spouse or ex boyfriend/girlfriend is having a limerence affair with someone.

Coach Lee compares limerence vs love and discusses what you can do if they are infatuated with this other person (known as the limerent object).

If your marriage is in trouble and you are separated due to your spouse having a limerence affair, this video will explain what is going on and why it seems you can't compete with this other person. So what is Limerence? It is a state of mind where people often leave marriages or long term, stable relationships to, instead, be with someone they haven't known for a long time at all but have amazing, sky-high feelings for. Dr. Tennov studied people in this infatuation and coined the term/word “limerence.”

Coach Lee will also discuss how you may fight for the heart of the one you love if they are in Limerence. When a spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend is experiencing limerence, they are under the influence of the chemicals associated with that mental state. Those brain chemicals are mainly dopamine and serotonin.

The ex lover or spouse in limerence is addicted to those chemical highs and is always chasing the greatest high experienced from the relationship. What they don't realize is that they can never duplicate that high again - though they might come close. Over time the highs get lower and lower until the person feels they have “fallen out of love.” They will then be vulnerable to chasing that high through the host of another person.

For more information, watch Coach Lee's video on Limerence and see his post at What is Limerence?

On Medium at: What Is Limerence in Relationships?

Understanding Limerence: The Intense World of Romantic Obsession

What is Limerence?

Limerence, a term coined by Dr. Dorothy Tennov many years ago, describes an intense, often overwhelming romantic desire. It's a state of mind characterized by an all-consuming passion and longing for another person, typically someone with whom the individual has not had a long-standing relationship. Those in the throes of limerence might find themselves leaving behind stable, long-term relationships for a whirlwind romance filled with sky-high emotions and a sense of urgency.

The Characteristics of Limerence:

Limerence is more than just a crush or infatuation; it is an addictive state. Individuals in limerence experience a powerful attraction to another person, often believing they have never felt this way before. This condition is marked by a series of intense emotions and a significant chemical reaction in the brain. Key characteristics include:

1. Intense Emotional Attachment: Individuals feel an overwhelming emotional attachment to the person of their desire, often believing this person is the only one who can fulfill them.
2. Idealization: The object of limerence, or the "limerent object," is often placed on a pedestal, idealized to an unrealistic degree.
3. Intrusive Thoughts: Those experiencing limerence find themselves constantly thinking about the other person, to the extent that it may interfere with their daily life.
4. Emotional Dependence: Their mood and overall well-being seem entirely dependent on their interactions with the limerent object.
5. Fear of Rejection: Despite the intense desire, there's also an acute fear of rejection from the limerent object, leading to a range of behaviors from shyness to extreme efforts to please.

The Chemical High of Limerence:

At its core, limerence is driven by a cocktail of chemicals in the brain. Dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter, spikes, leading to feelings of pleasure and reward. Meanwhile, changes in serotonin levels can disrupt rational thinking and decision-making, explaining why those in limerence often make seemingly irrational choices, like leaving a stable partner for a new, uncertain relationship. This chemical high can lead individuals to act out of character, prioritizing the pursuit of this new romantic interest above all else.

The Role of Limerence in Relationships:

While often disruptive and painful, especially when it leads to the end of long-term relationships, limerence does have a role in human romantic interaction. In the early stages of a relationship, limerence can serve to bring people together, creating a strong bond that motivates them to pursue a deeper connection. The intense desire to know everything about the other person and share everything about oneself can lay the groundwork for a future relationship. However, for limerence to transition into a stable, long-term partnership, it must evolve into deeper forms of love and attachment.

Limerence vs. Rebound Relationships:

Limerence is often at the core of what many refer to as rebound relationships. After a breakup, individuals might quickly find themselves intensely attracted to someone new. These relationships are typically labeled "rebounds" due to their sudden onset and the common belief that they are merely a way to fill the void left by the previous relationship. While not all rebound relationships are driven by limerence, many exhibit similar patterns of idealization and intense emotional investment.

Dealing with Limerence:

If you find yourself or someone close to you caught in the grip of limerence, understanding that it is a temporary and often illogical state can be comforting. Recognizing the signs and acknowledging the chemical aspect of the attraction can help in managing the feelings and making more rational decisions. For those who are on the receiving end of someone's limerent affection, it's important to set clear boundaries and not exploit the situation, as the emotional stakes are incredibly high.

When Limerence Fades:

Limerence is not a permanent state. Over time, the intense feelings begin to fade, and individuals may start to see their limerent object more realistically. This transition period can be challenging, as the emotional withdrawal can feel similar to overcoming an addiction. The end of limerence is often marked by statements like "the spark is gone" or "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." It's crucial for individuals to navigate this phase carefully, ideally transitioning into a more mature, stable form of love.

Conclusion:

Limerence is a powerful and often bewildering experience, marked by intense emotional highs, irrational behaviors, and significant changes in brain chemistry. While it plays a role in drawing people together and can lead to meaningful relationships, it's important to recognize its temporary nature and potential for disruption. Understanding limerence, its symptoms, and its impact on relationships can help individuals navigate their romantic lives more wisely, making decisions that lead to healthier, more sustainable partnerships. Whether you're experiencing limerence, know someone who is, or are simply fascinated by this aspect of human emotion, appreciating the complexity of these feelings is a step toward more profound emotional intelligence and relationship satisfaction.

How To Survive No Contact

Getting through no contact is difficult. That's the understatement of a lifetime! Not communicating with the one you love seems difficult to survive, even if you plan to reach out at some point. It's a challenge that you are up for and Coach Lee gives you some encouragement and tips to survive the no contact rule!

If you are wondering what to do during a no contact period with your ex, this video explains what you can do to survive, get through, and to keep your sanity. If you are looking for help during no contact, Coach Lee explains what you can do when you start to worry, wonder, and wince. He guides you through the problem of thinking about your ex constantly during no contact.

By thinking about them all of the time, you make the process much more difficult for yourself and Coach Lee explains how you can improve in that area to give yourself some peace. In fact, Coach Lee uses a coffee cup to explain to you how you can get through those tough days of no contact.

The key is in knowing when to take breaks and how to keep yourself out of the pits that come with the anxiety and depression you can feel after a breakup. Use this video and lean on Coach Lee to stick out no contact in order to have the best chance at getting your ex back and to become a stronger person.

SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel so that you can be notified when he has new content on attraction, relationship dynamics, and breakups.

Read the accompanying article at: How To Survive No Contact

Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit At https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/