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Coach Lee is a world-renown relationship coach who helps people get an ex back after a breakup, save a marriage, and become more attractive. Lee has coached people in relationships since 2000. His website is https://MyExBackCoach.com and includes hundreds of articles and videos. Lee has lectured at Pepperdine University and others, is a TED educator on the science of breakups, and has been interviewed by major media including The New York Times, USA Today, The Today Show, New York Post, Men’s Health, L.A. Business Journal, Cosmopolitan, Daily Mail, Metro UK, Bravo TV, Yahoo Lifestyle, Glamor, and MSN among others. Lee uses real-life experience with breakups along with his work for 20 years providing relationship-recovery coaching. He has multiple certifications for relationship coaching & consulting. Get information on his Emergency Breakup Kit & Emergency Marriage Kit at MyExBackCoach.com. SUBSCRIBE to this podcast as well as on YouTube at https://youtube.com/myexbackcoach so you don’t miss videos on saving relationships, keeping love strong, and the science of attraction. INSTAGRAM @RealCoachLee
Episodes
Saturday Nov 09, 2024
The Breakup Should COST Your Ex
Saturday Nov 09, 2024
Saturday Nov 09, 2024
Making the Breakup Impactful for Your Ex: Steps Toward Potential Reconnection
Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit
Breakups often leave one person holding all the cards, typically the one who initiates the split. If you’re hoping to reignite the relationship, it’s crucial to understand that your ex needs to feel the cost of the breakup on an emotional level. Without this sense of loss, they may never fully understand what they gave up. In this guide, we’ll explore why creating a meaningful sense of consequence can influence their willingness to reflect on and possibly rekindle the connection.
1. Change Stems from Discomfort
People generally avoid change until their current situation becomes too uncomfortable to bear. In relationships, this idea means that your ex may need to face the reality of being without you before they consider getting back together. Chasing or trying to convince them to return only reduces the discomfort they might otherwise feel, giving them a way to bypass the emotional reality of their decision.
By stepping back and using a period of no contact, you allow your ex to feel the impact of the breakup. This distance can help them realize what it means to lose you and may even create a sense of uncertainty that challenges their original assumptions about ending things.
2. Balance the Power Dynamic
At the point of separation, your ex likely felt they had control over both the relationship’s direction and the situation. They may have even felt they could come back whenever they wanted. Your goal should be to counter this sense of control by asserting your own boundaries and refusing to react emotionally or desperately.
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Maintain Dignity Through Distance: The period of no contact serves as a silent declaration of self-respect and composure. By withholding contact, you show your ex that you won’t accept being taken for granted and that you’re fully capable of thriving on your own. The quiet resolve may prompt them to think, “Are they really moving on?” or “Have I made a mistake?”
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Act in Unexpected Ways: If your ex thinks they know exactly how you’ll react—likely with clinginess or persistence—surprise them. Remaining composed or moving forward with confidence sends a message that you’re perfectly fine without them. This shift disrupts the original power dynamic and encourages them to rethink their decision.
Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit
3. Embrace the Power of Mystery
When a person acts predictably, they’re easy to understand. After a breakup, your ex likely thinks they know exactly how you’ll behave, and they may assume you’ll be single or consumed by thoughts of them. Showing them otherwise can be a valuable tool.
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Display Resilience in Your Own Life: Rather than allowing the breakup to control you, focus on activities that show personal growth. Pursue new hobbies, enjoy time with friends, and live life with genuine positivity. This behavior, when shared subtly, can prompt your ex to reconsider how they view you and the end of your relationship.
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Show that You’re Not Reaching Out: Most people expect some degree of pursuit after ending a relationship, especially if they were the ones in control. When you maintain distance, you create an aura of mystery. With no frequent updates or outreach, your ex may start questioning what you’re up to and whether they fully understood their feelings for you.
4. Let Them Question Whether Too Much Damage Was Done
An important factor in creating a sense of emotional consequence is letting your ex wonder if the breakup might have made it impossible to reconcile. If they’re uncertain about where you stand, they may start reflecting on whether they’ve lost their chance with you altogether. This uncertainty can act as a catalyst, making them reconsider the decision to end things.
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Give Space for Reflection: In silence, you allow your ex to fill in the gaps. They might begin wondering, “Have I made a mistake?” or “Is it too late to fix things?” This time of reflection often has a more powerful effect than any words you could say.
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Become Less Accessible: By showing independence, you shift the dynamic from always being available to becoming someone they may no longer be able to reach. This scarcity encourages them to take action if they truly value the relationship, motivating them to reassess what you both shared.
Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit
5. Help Them Recognize They Must Earn Your Forgiveness
In an ideal scenario, your ex should approach you with a sense of humility and an understanding of the impact of their actions. For a healthy reconciliation, they should hope for forgiveness rather than assuming they automatically deserve a place back in your life.
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Cultivate Mutual Respect: A successful reunion needs equality. By allowing them to approach you on their own, you encourage your ex to see you as an equal. When they initiate, they show that they understand the value of the relationship and are open to rebuilding it with mutual appreciation and respect.
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Wait for Authentic Remorse: Real, lasting love requires both people to respect each other’s worth. When your ex starts to feel that they need you as much as you need them, they’re more likely to approach you with genuine intent. Silence and time allow them to reach that point on their own, building a foundation for a potential future that honors both partners’ contributions.
The Power of Distance in Rekindling a Relationship
Rediscovering a relationship post-breakup is a challenging path that requires both patience and emotional resilience. By allowing your ex to experience the true impact of the breakup without interference, you create an environment where they can recognize the cost of their decision. Ultimately, whether or not they return, you can take pride in knowing you maintained your self-respect and allowed space for genuine reflection.
Your journey forward can be about personal growth, self-worth, and clarity about what you deserve, ensuring that whatever comes next, you’ll be stronger and more confident.
Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit
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