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Coach Lee is a world-renown relationship coach who helps people get an ex back after a breakup, save a marriage, and become more attractive. Lee has coached people in relationships since 2000. His website is https://MyExBackCoach.com and includes hundreds of articles and videos. Lee has lectured at Pepperdine University and others, is a TED educator on the science of breakups, and has been interviewed by major media including The New York Times, USA Today, The Today Show, New York Post, Men’s Health, L.A. Business Journal, Cosmopolitan, Daily Mail, Metro UK, Bravo TV, Yahoo Lifestyle, Glamor, and MSN among others. Lee uses real-life experience with breakups along with his work for 20 years providing relationship-recovery coaching. He has multiple certifications for relationship coaching & consulting. Get information on his Emergency Breakup Kit & Emergency Marriage Kit at MyExBackCoach.com. SUBSCRIBE to this podcast as well as on YouTube at https://youtube.com/myexbackcoach so you don’t miss videos on saving relationships, keeping love strong, and the science of attraction. INSTAGRAM @RealCoachLee
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Wednesday Jan 22, 2025
How Your Ex Might Trick You To Break No Contact
Wednesday Jan 22, 2025
Wednesday Jan 22, 2025
When it comes to breakups, the no-contact rule is one of the most powerful tools you can use to heal, regain your confidence, and, in some cases, increase the chances of reconciliation. However, your ex may not make it easy for you to stay silent. Even if they ended the relationship, they might use subtle (and not-so-subtle) tricks to get you to reach out first. Understanding these tactics and why they use them can help you stay strong and avoid falling into their trap.
Here are some common tricks your ex might use to make you break no contact and why you should resist them.
Get Coach Lee's $7 Reunion Blueprint at https://ReunionBlueprint.com
1. Subtle Gestures That Seem Meaningful
Your ex might send you a message, gift, or even a photo that reminds you of your time together. For example, they could send you a picture of a place you both loved or a song that held special meaning during your relationship. These actions are designed to evoke nostalgia and emotional vulnerability, making you feel compelled to respond.
While these gestures may seem thoughtful, they’re often an attempt to gauge whether you still care or to prompt you to make the first move. Unless their communication is clear and direct about wanting to reconcile, resist the urge to respond.
2. Emotional Social Media Posts
Social media is a favorite tool for many exes trying to break no contact. They might post vague or emotional updates, such as, “Breakups are harder than I thought” or “I just wish things could go back to the way they were.” These posts can make you wonder if they’re missing you or regretting the breakup.
It’s important to remember that these posts might not mean what you think they do. They could be fishing for validation or trying to get a reaction from you without having to directly reach out. Don’t let their public displays lure you into breaking no contact.
3. Orchestrating "Accidental" Encounters
Some exes will go out of their way to bump into you. They might show up at your favorite coffee shop, join a mutual friend’s gathering they know you’ll attend, or even walk by your workplace. These encounters are rarely as accidental as they seem.
The goal of these situations is often to remind you of their presence or to create an opportunity for conversation without them having to take the emotional risk of reaching out directly. If you notice this happening, remain polite but brief, and don’t let the interaction escalate into a deeper conversation.
4. Using Mutual Friends as Messengers
Exes may involve mutual friends to get updates about you or to pass along messages. They might ask your friends how you’re doing, whether you’re seeing anyone new, or even tell them to “say hi” for them. This tactic allows them to test the waters without putting themselves in a vulnerable position.
If you hear from a mutual friend that your ex has been asking about you, stay strong and stick to your boundaries. Politely let your friends know that you’re focusing on yourself and prefer not to discuss your ex.
Get Coach Lee's $7 Reunion Blueprint at https://ReunionBlueprint.com
5. Feigning a Crisis or Need for Help
Another tactic is creating a sense of urgency or crisis. They might claim they need your advice, help with a personal problem, or assistance with something they know you’re good at. This tactic plays on your empathy and the bond you once shared, making it harder for you to ignore them.
While it’s natural to want to help someone you care about, consider whether their request is genuine or just a way to break no contact. Unless it’s a true emergency, maintain your boundaries.
6. Offering Friendship Instead of Reconciliation
Your ex might reach out to suggest staying friends. While this can sound innocent or even considerate, it’s often a way to keep you in their life without committing to a romantic relationship. Accepting friendship when you want more can be emotionally painful and prevent you from fully moving on.
As tempting as it might be to remain connected, settling for a “lowball” offer of friendship when you want romance will only prolong your heartache. Politely decline and focus on your own healing.
7. Testing the Waters with Small Gestures
Your ex might send a brief text like “How are you?” or react to one of your social media posts to see how you respond. These actions are often more about satisfying their curiosity or ego than a genuine desire to reconnect.
If their message doesn’t clearly indicate a desire to reconcile, it’s best to ignore it. Responding only gives them the validation they’re seeking without addressing your deeper needs.
Why You Should Stay Strong
Breaking no contact can feel satisfying in the moment, especially if you’ve been missing your ex. However, it often leads to more heartache and confusion. When you break no contact in response to their tricks, you give away your power and diminish your value in their eyes.
If your ex truly wants to reconcile, they need to take the initiative, make a clear effort, and show they’re ready to commit. Anything less is likely to result in more pain and an uneven dynamic.
Conclusion
Recognizing the tricks your ex might use to make you break no contact is essential for maintaining your emotional strength and self-respect. Whether it’s subtle gestures, social media posts, or orchestrated encounters, their actions are often more about fulfilling their needs than addressing yours.
Stay strong, focus on your own growth, and trust that if reconciliation is meant to happen, it will come from genuine effort on their part. In the meantime, protecting your peace and dignity should remain your top priority.
Get Coach Lee's $7 Reunion Blueprint at https://ReunionBlueprint.com
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